Well, let’s be honest here. All through my life (after I turned 16) I had came out as a lesbian and yet I was still so confused. I didn’t have a gf until college and something just didn’t feel right. She was really into sex, and since I found myself “in love” I gave her what she wanted. It still didn’t feel normal to me.
After she dumped me, I got to think a little more about myself and who I am. Of course, during this time after college I swear I was in a constant manic swing that ended fall 2011. Since then I’ve became more genuine. More… me.
The thing is that, if you’re my friend you may have trouble dealing with (as I have for the most part) the fact that I’m non-binary. I generally identify as a different gender than anything “male” or “female.” Unless I’m not identifying as anything.
I know it may be so confusing, believe me, I know. You all know I’ve had sex… with people from each binary. I can’t explain things dealing with the sex part to others. All I do know is that I don’t want to be referred to as she/her anymore because that’s not what I am. I’m going with they/them at this point as I keep exploring. Currently, I’m not interested in any sexual relations either.
I know that no one really knows about this and I don’t want to keep it this way. I’m not telling family (except my sister), but I’d like my friends to know. It’s a really rough time for me right now. Right now, one friend I know in real life knows, and she was amazing about it all.
I just want people to love me for me.